Is it really a disorder or is it an adaptation? Like fur that camouflages us to protect us from predators. I have multiple personalities. I have my work personality, my friends personality, my public personality, and then my real personality. All of these can be turned on or off separately, or in conjunction with one another, which allows me to survive in many different situations. Take my day job for instance. I work in sales, in a typical office environment, with all that that entails. As you may or may not have observed from this blog, I am not your typical office worker, and it would seem natural that I would have a problem conforming to such an environment. I conform just fine, because I can switch off my other personalities, go into “work mode”, and make it through the day. All of the tedious rules, and polite chit chat don’t bother me because I’ve shut that part of my brain down.
Similarly I have a “friends” personality that I utilize when at a party, or out and about in a large group, that allows me to be more social, less self conscious, and much louder than I would normally be. Does this mean that I’m being fake with most of my “friends?” Not necessarilly, I’m just guarding certain areas of my personality, and amplifying others. It allows me to mingle and socialize with people that I wouldn’t otherwise be able to.
Then there is my public personality. This is the person that is on this blog, playing music, writing songs, etc. This personality is EVERYTHING in me amplified. Pain is worse, joy is greater, anger is hotter, etc. Simply put Fathomless REgression is me unbridled.
Finally there is my real personality. Currently in the world there are 6 people who actually interact with this person. 3 of which are my wife, daughter, and son. This personality is just me. No walls, no blocking, I lay everything out for them.
This leads me back to my initial question. Is this really a problem? Some people would say that you should be yourself in front of everyone and they can take it or leave it. I find that to be a very immature attitude that doesn’t really hold up as you become more ingrained in a professional environment and still want to maintain a personal world. I keep all of these worlds and personalities separate for the most part, and many of my “friends” from any of these different worlds don’t even interact with one another. After typing this, I”m realizing that this does sound a little weird. Ah well. Tis me.