As many of you reading this already know, I am not exactly eager to have visitors. One of the main disturbances to be has always been relatives, and friends, who come to see my kids rather than me or my wife. So is this just some materialization of my own selfish attitude? Yes, but not because I want the attention myself. Instead I view it as someone stealing away MY time with my kids. I have a seemingly unique view of my children. In this view, I see about 13 years with each of them where they will actually WANT to be around their daddy. Every single second that others are around, I view them as interrupting what little time I have with my kids. This is also why I don’t have bed times for my kids, and why my wife and I don’t ever have babysitters. I’ll have all the time in the world to be away from my kids, after they’ve grown tired of me.
Furthermore, it seems to me that others like to “second hand smoke” my children. By that I mean, that people who don’t have kids of their own, or in the case of grandparents, have passed their time of being a parent, want to be around my kids while it’s convenient and fun. They want to come over, see how cute they are, play with them, get their fill, and then leave. It’s almost as if grandparents see that their time for raising children has passed and now they want a second crack at it. Taking this theory a bit further, I almost wonder if parents who didn’t focus enough on their kids when they were young, and who didn’t spend enough time with them, are now trying to recapture some of that time by hovering around their grandchildren. This might explain why they’re so obsessed with grandchildren.
I’ve made a pledge to my wife that we will absorb every last second with our children, so that when they have their own kids, they’ll be free to enjoy them without us constantly buzzing around trying to make up for lost time. But this is all just me being crazy, and it’s possible that people who are around my children really just enjoy spending time with them, and I’m just extremely selfish. This is probably true, but it doesn’t change the fact that I protect my time with my kids quite extremely and will probably continue to feel very hostile towards those who invade on this time.