I have been in a rut for days now. I can’t seem to finish any song ideas and have actually been pretty depressed. I know it’s common for people to feel down around the holidays but I’ve never really had that problem. I find myself increasingly annoyed with the people around me. they seem so arrogant and superficial. I wonder if I appear that way to others??? I’ve managed to create a personality that I use to deal with the general public and it works well as a shield. The obvious downside is that no one I know, knows me. My wife is the only one who gets to see the real me. I’m not sure if that’s a priviledge for her or not.
I wonder what would happen if we all stopped pretending. What if all of the people I know stopped pretending that we really know one another? Silence? Real conversation? God I miss the old garage scene. I just want to feel as comfortable as I did back then. I’d play anything for anyone and not care what they thought. When did I become this insecure little baby who is so worried about other peoples opinions of my music? When did I lose sight of who I make this music for anyway? Oh the thoughts I’m having this Christmas. Well enough of that. Time to put on the mask and face a world I don’t understand and genuinely despise.