Why I Don’t Go Out At Night

So I’m frequently asked why I don’t go out more often. People find it odd that the only times I leave the house for social outings, it is always with my wife and daughter. People make obvious assumptions about me being whipped, or my wife not trusting me, or something else that is completely stupid. Unfortunately for a lot of guys the reason they don’t go out more is because of their wives. That’s sad frankly, but not my reason. The reason I don’t go out much without my wife, or even with her, is because I don’t want to. Pretty simple huh? But why don’t I want to. Most people don’t get it. Most married men that I know would relish the opportunity to get away from the wife and kids for a night and just unwind. I’m the exact opposite. I view the outside world as a ball and chain, an annoyance most of the time. My family life is my salvation from the rest of the world.


I’ve spent many years constructing my own little universe within which I live with my wife, daughter, and soon our new baby. As I’ve stated in previous blogs, I take everyone/everything at face value. The ONLY reason that I married my wife is because she is the one person that I wanted to be with all of the time. Not most of the time, but all of the time. I didn’t marry her because I thought I should, or because “that’s what you do”, but because I never wanted to be away from her again. Unfortunately I have to work, so I’m away from her for a good portion of the day already. Then I spend another significant chunk of my time lying unconscious next to her on a bed. If you think about it, I waste a lot of time during the day not being around my wife. Why would I want to waste even more of it at night and on weekends, hanging out with guys who don’t really know me (in comparison to how my wife knows me), trying to make conversation, be pleasant, and trying to fit in to a crowd that feels as uncomfortable as new underwear?


My daughter is the same way. We didn’t have a kid because of any reason other than the desire to grow our little universe and bring another person into it. Having exhausted all options in the outside world, we decide to create one rather than draft one in. Now we’re doing it again. So to me it would make perfect sense that in the last year we have spent no more than two nights away from our daughter, and even those were only for a few hours. People always tell us that we need to have a “date night”. Do something romantic, drop the kid with a babysitter, and go have a night out. Why? Why can’t we have a romantic evening with our daughter sitting right there? What are we going to do, starting having sex on the table in a restaurant? It’s ridiculous. I see nothing wrong with us getting dressed up, going to a nice restaurant, dropping more on one meal then we did on our entire grocery bill for the month, and in the middle of it all, ask for a refill on my 3 year old’s glass of milk. She’ll still go to bed at around 11 which leaves plenty of moonlight for us to burn, doing the things that we do. 😉


What I find interesting is that I see a lot of parents who seem to have not gotten it “out of their system” or something. They send the kids off to grandparents, or friends, on the weekends and go out to get drunk and crazy. Now, I’m still a fan of a good drunken evening but we just do it in shifts now. If I’m getting drunk one night then Linz is driving and I’ll be driving the next night when she’s drunk. 


I didn’t have kids or get married so that I could spend my years trying to get away from them. If I want to get away I’ll just get a divorce and move. Until then, I’m staying in, and I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t.


About fathomlessregression

I am a musician, writer, painter, brother, husband, and father. I have more questions about life than I do answers, and spend the majority of my time exploring the infinite number of possibilities that exist. This is accomplished through my art, music, writing, and most of all through conversation. View all posts by fathomlessregression

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